November 3rd:
Top Ten Reasons I, Louise, Am Moving Back To The USA:

10: It snows 362 days a year in Canada.

9: In America, I can actually vote loser politicians out of office!

8: George W. Bush *less* incoherent than Canadian Prime Minister Chretien.

7: Football played the way football was meant to be played.

6: Sick of debate, "Snowballs don't kill people; people kill people."

5: All that multicoloured Canadian money causes eyestrain.

4: Can no longer live with that shame that after two years my cat still hasn't learned French.

3: The place hasn't been the same since Gretzky left..

2: I've had just aboot enough of the funny Canadian accent, eh.

1: Canadian beer is cheaper in the States

November 2nd:

Well, I'm moving to E-Spitzburg (Picksburgh, Pensivania) and about to become a regaler yinzer, 'cept I don't like the Stillers. In fact I like dem hadded Raders! If I ever go to a game I'll have to sit in a sepert section prolly.

But that's okay, cuz afterwards I can go to Permanees dahn-a shtrip and et til I'm foool.

(Learn some more Pittsburghese.)

November 1st:

Important words to remember:
It's better to be burned out twice than move once.