March 31st
Is this another unfortunate by-product of the brain drain? Canada short on sperm!

March 30th
Oh, boo hoo. No more Dr. Laura on tv.

March 27th
Hey! If you came here looking for "Marge Simpson sex" or "her broken ankle," please tell me what you expected to find? I can't imagine and it's driving me crazy. (If you didn't, let me tell you -- I get a bunch of hits every week from people searching for those.)

My journal is back. Only one entry so far and not looking any different. Woohoo.

March 24th:
So far, 10 guys have been picked for the US Olympic hockey team. I can't stand most of them, and it's just sad that the US can't get a really good goalie. When is the trade deadline for this? But anyway, I want the Czech Republic to win gold.

Or Canada, but just cuz of Lemieux.

March 23rd:
Birthday Baby --

You are sweet, sensitive and creative as long as things are going your way. You have a twinkle in your eye and a personality that will win you the admiration of both family and friends. You have great ideas and a powerful sense of who you are and what you want.

BORN ON THIS DAY: Joan Crawford

But what about the wire hangers?

March 22nd:
Pop quiz --

Why did Boeing announce they are moving their corporate headquarters to Denver, Chicago or Dallas?

A. They're sick of the rain.
B. The earthquake scared the hell out of them.
C. They don't want to be too close to the workers when they announce some "normal involuntary attrition" numbers.

Send your answer to: no.more.good.coffee@boeing.com

March 21st:
Voodoo Barbie! I want one! Except of course, my kid has already done this to several of hers. For cosmetic reasons, not for voodoo purposes.

March 21st:
Today's tip:
Do not eat mussels at a restaurant when you don't know for sure that they were cooked while still alive. (And that sounds so mean, I know.) I read this yesterday in a magazine at the health clinic. Gee, just a day late. I probably won't eat mussels ever again.

March 18th:
From the Atlanta Journal:

"We don't overly abuse our children," said Tabitha Houston, 18, who was married two years ago with what she described as Allen's "approval."

March 17th:
Preach, teach or nag! What could be more fun than the Dr. Laura game? I promise that the game is not deviant and is protected by the First Amendment.

March 16th:
Horoscope from Free Will Astrology...Week of 3/15:

Let's play Jeopardy. I'll give you the metaphorical solutions for several of your burning concerns, and you will come up with the appropriate questions. Ready? Here are the answers:

1. Like drinking fresh-squeezed lemonade in the middle of the night.
2. Like receiving the gift of a toy dragon from a person you thought was mad at you.
3. Like all the workers at the local landfill suddenly breaking into a Cole Porter medley as your drive up with your load of garbage.
4. Like making love with all the lights blazing.

March 15th:
Sticker seen on a helmet attached to a Harley parked outside the Voodoo Lounge in Pittsburgh's Strip Disttrict:

Rehab is for quitters.

March 13th:
My horoscope today said that friends are waiting for promised photographs. I know this means Elizabeth. I promise I'll take the roll in tomorrow. Okay? For real this time.

I am not making this up:
The name of this band is so funny and amusing to me on so many levels, but... well, I can't go into details, but I wonder if they pronounce their name correctly.

March 10th:
Is there such a thing as an infamous serial killer? I mean, even the ones who haven't been identified have nicknames -- Green River Killer, Zodiac Killer... hmm. Could someone be a serial killer and no one realize it? The unknown serial killer?